It has been a hospital heavy few weeks since we returned from Paris. This eribulin is doing its work, but it continues to crush my platelets. I also had mystery but hideous shoulder pain which we now think is both disease and perhaps referred nerve pain from the spine, so it had been a game of finding the right combos to allow me to manage the pain and sleep at night. FUn times! I think we have it now and I just have to tread carefully with the shoulder. I also had lovely tummy bloating which makes me look newly pregnant. Just not fun. That might be steroid related. One day found me in the floor barfing. Also fun. So enough of that. You can see how all of a sudden cancer can become a job. Yo me the whole thing is still surreal. I just wake up and say thank you and then go on with the day and week. There is no other way. I have a dear friend moving to Tokyo for two years. I have encouraged her, and yet part of me pauses and wonders if I will be alive when she returns. I can’t imagine not being here, but that will be 4 years of surival and who knows. So again back to the basics of savoring people, appreciating each day, rebuilding strength, knowing when to surrender and just rest. This summer each kid will go to camp for a week. Will loved Kennolyn and Bebe is excited for Walton’s up at Tahoe. The rest of summer is just about family in Sun Valley and Martha’s Vineyard in between treatments . Not so bad!
it will be humbling accepting my limits in SV. The first year of my life where I know I can’t hike to the top of Chocolate Gulch or Proctor or Pioneer. Dad and I will tackle the smaller, flatter river side hikes and take full advantage of the hammock! Lots of books. Lots of beauty. It will be enough.
I hope everyone is having a great summer. I continue to love the flowers and bath salts (daily baths!) and letters. They all boost my spirits and keep me motivated. Thank you so so much for that generosity and love.
I will record my harmonies for “Feel like This” and note we have a un old school vinyl record out with our 5 songs. Always check http://www.birdseedband.com for anything and related. More shows this fall at some point.