High Low

Well it has been a week of high highs and deep lows. And today I’m moving back to middle ground. These pics are from a generous  photo shoot from Sarah Coates. I love my girls so much. And there are so many more. So we will try to get a slideshow going of these shortly.

The low was yesterday when I woke to nasty stomach cramps and barfed all morning. Unreal. So gross. Miraculously Camilla dropped something by right then and a sequence of her, Jocelyn and Micaela literally just held me and pet me. I was so sad and in so much pain. It sucked. And then it finally calmed and I took a huge nap. It may have been inconsistent intake of a steroid plus altitude adjustment but also I think I was just overdoing it and hadn’t napped on Wednesday. Those naps are so sacred and sadly suck up a lot of a day. That evening I felt just good enough to be spoiled by Amy, Mary, and Mason with dinner and a viewing of the beautiful tribute the videographer did from a bunch of interviews. Unbelievably moving and humbling and uplifting. Wow. My platelets are only 25 so today is fluids and chemo Monday  but Rugo sounded happy enough with the numbers and especially of liver

The high was out of this world which was a totally spontaneous trip to the stunning Amangiri which has forever been on my waitlist and not so much on Creighton’s as the desert reminds him of too many USMC campouts and drills! So some mama bears treated me to a ridiculous get away where we savored the pool, the architecture, the dramatically beautiful scenery, and most of all time to be together in such a zen environment. 600 acre property. Expansive land and skies. The red buttes go from red to blue to purple until the sky is blackest black and you can see every constellation glowing bright. 80mm years ago this was the ocean floor. It creates this otherworldly sense of place. Timeless. Ancient. And another stark reminder of how very little time our own cycles here represent. Every day, every problem seems so enormous for us, and 10x so for kids and yet they are just minicsule when you stand below that big sky and the huge expanse of land. As a classic Gemini I think that while I love city life there is a huge part of my soul that also hungers for that openness. I was sad not to be able to gallop across the land or hike up the buttes, but it was still a thrill to experience that part of the country and to simply be with those friends. Usually I would rip through books but I just enjoyed being.

Today I’m getting fluids at the hospital and feel so much better. Managed to drag myself out of bed to get to Bebe’s Circuits Circus which she was so proud of. I certainly wasn’t doing that in 3rd grade. So cool. So creative. Mason and I are almost done with the shells of two new songs and will keep developing those. I started them…Rewind and The Wound and the Wonder. Have a wonderful weekend! P.s. Please know how much I love all the letters, email, texts and wonderful flowers and treats. I apologize that I’m not as responsive as I want to be. I am grateful and love all of you. Thanks for understanding and for your remarkable support that keeps me fighting.

i will try to load more pics of http://www.amangiri.com


3 thoughts on “High Low

  1. thank you for the posts, dear Kerry. I wanted just to let you know that I’ve been reading your beautiful words, often pining over the pain and difficulties of your situation but also marveling at your strength and wisdom. And honesty. And glamour! I am sending you prayers (of an agnostic sort, but I trust they will end up where they need to go). Just wanted you to know I am here in your universe of well-wishers, looking forward to your next song.


  2. Beautiful post, Kers. I love your descriptions of the color changes at sunset. So excited to hear ‘Rewind’ and The ‘Wound and the Wonder’


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