Life in Technicolor

IMG_4628My Mom sent a wonderful note this week saying that while they are rather quiet people they have loved seeing life brought a child who lives in technicolor. It made me laugh and cry as it was so on. When I sort out my tech I wil be able to share more of he magnificent photos taken by Becca from Rah photography. She is truly gifted.

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With godmama Remy

I am 6 hours into a UCSF day. Great meeting with palliative care who keeps my head and pain on track. Blood draw and two units of blood with lots of waiting but some good girlfriends keeping me company. It looks beautiful outside so I hope to sneak in a short walk when I get out of here. THe bilirubin looks better so cheers to that. I still have crazy shortness of breath from time to time, especially in the morning, but otherwise hanging in there.

Mom and Dad have been amazing with their frequent drives up to the city and dear friend Monica spoiled me by coming up from Carmel to cook a fabulous dinner and to be a fan at rehearsal. My voice held up well, and it was a joy to sing to her! She made a big move from Seattle to Carmel, and it has been fun hearing about life as a 40 something in a beautiful resort community. Besides Big Sur Land Trust she has gotten super involved in the Monterey Museum of Art. Who knew there was such a precious gem with a huge and compelling western art collection as well as history. I look forward to getting back there in a trip down.

I still struggle with overprogramming and not letting myself nap enough, but I’m getting there. I feel like we did meaningful prep on death and hospice and acceptance in the family and that is allowing us to live each day more fully and hope that that in turn buys us many more.

I’m reading Hidden Figures but need to get another dose of Billions soon!

I will continue to say thank you for spoiling me in so many ways for I swear it is magic medicine.

have a fantastic weekend!!! Love to all

 

2 thoughts on “Life in Technicolor

  1. Karry Catherine Landreth Reed, you are hands down the most uplifting and positive person. The world sings because you are in it. Forever, I’ve thought that your history, literature, efficient, music brain that was genius… turns out there was a much bigger genius that dominates them all! Thank you! xoxo

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  2. Hi Kerry,
    My name is Lisa Ceremsak (I’m Bob’s sister). I have been praying for you in Cambridge, MA and now in Bozeman, MT for years now. My husband read me something this morning and I thought of you. You are a gift to me and many others.
    Sending you big sky love!

    Now Everyone Is Right

    My good friend Bob went to see his eighty-nine-year-old mother in the hospital. She loved to play poker. It was Thanksgiving and she, all agitated, greeted him with some urgency, “I’m playing hands with God! Can’t you see?! I don’t want to be playing hands with God! But there He is! And now everyone is right!” This was a shocking yet profound encounter which she couldn’t stop repeating. She had dropped through the seam of her days into a deeper reality in which each person’s view contributes its rightness to our fundamental understanding of life, the way each wave contributes to our understanding of the ocean.

    Quite often, in approaching death, our elders are thrust through the tension of opposites, as if stepping off a cliff, and there the endless delineations between right and wrong and good and bad pale compared to the great unity of things which we all can feel, but not always understand. This abrupt awakening is not reserved for the elderly. Often, in crisis, in illness, in love, or in great unexpected joy, we stumble there.

    When we’ve been taught to see everything as a choice between an upward and narrow path to success and a downward path of mistakes to failure, the awakening that everything is holy, that every path is right, can be disorienting. Whether we realize it or not, we are always playing hands with God and everyone is right.

    In my own life, I was busily working to change the world when cancer stopped me and I woke up to the humble realization that the world was changing me. In my pain, I looked at my fellow patients surviving under their invisible weights and at the soft and chiseled nurses tied to removing those weights. In my pain, I realized that, indeed, everyone is right—and everyone is hoping that the turned-over card that God is holding on their behalf is an ace. But when we are opened by suffering, a mix of humility and desperation makes whatever card we hold glow so brightly that the faces of Kings and Queens become our faces—and miraculously every face holds everything. And whether we live or die, it becomes blessedly clear that every one of us is a gift and every card is an ace.

    from “Seven Thousand Ways to Listen: Staying Close to What Is Sacred” by Mark Nepo.

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