I awoke to more snow today as the kids boisterously prepped for another great day on the slopes of Baldy. I will cocoon again and try to let go into the healing after the radiation and chemo battering of the last few weeks. UsuLly I can rally for just about anything if I put my mind to it, but this is a fatigue that defies that willpower. My bones ache, and I feel unusually fragile and emotional. No better place for that than with family so not sure why I’ve let it overwhelm me this time. I think just because I’m so in love with it all, in love with the kids, family, the mountains, life. We aren’t supposed to cling, but oh how I feel myself doing so desperately. And yes, I’m afraid to die and lleave it behind.
But that is my drama speaking while I wait for some good meds and while we wait to see if this nasty treatment will beat back the cancer for awhile.
I’m reading a fabulous novel, “A Gentleman in Moscow” by Amor Towler who has such a gift with words and characters. I had enjoyed The Rules of Civility and like this even more.
Im glad we shaved my head when we did for it is coming off in little fuzzy episodes. The kids pet me.
Yeaterday Dad and I walked the 1.25 mile circle and I felt like it was 4 miles. Oh so humbling, but it made me admire how he has soldiered on since the stroke in 2009 with no complaining. I kno we both wish we were on the mountain, although if I’m totally honest I have become a fair weather skier anyway!!
i wish I had more depth for you today, but this is is allive got for now. Love to all!