Well…..I really thought I had paid my dues in 2010 and I was so thrilled when Rugo said my upcoming new chemo would only cause nausea. However, with 15 new brain lesions and all kind of weird shit in my brain lining I now have the lovely opportunity to go bald again in 2 weeks. It should happen starkly right at the end of treatment which is whole brain radiation starting tomorrow. Amazing that 10 minutes a day can zap the cancer and then my hair. The good news is that this terribly naughty cancer does respond well to radiation so if all goes well I may struggle with short term memory (fast forward aging fun time) but we won’t be surprised every few months with new lesions. Should be very effective.
Rugo still feel the liver tumors are very small and should respond well to a lose dose of weekly cysplatin. This will be by infusion and suck up a few hours starting Friday of this week. Didn’t think I’d have to do that baby again either, but whatever it takes to keep me here and otherwise thriving. The gemcytabine will likely start in March so that my body can absorb the treatments in waves. I will still be able to do some fun trips down the road and will keep up my singing, writing, TNC, walks, closet work and will just have to budget for a bit more fatigue.
I cried on the spot about my hair, but my radiologist complimented my endless ability to see the positive side of things and said it absolutely helps my treatment. So like last time I will picture healing white light streaming in when I get the infusion (thank you Sarah Coates for that beautiful idea in 2010) and I will wear good make up, earrings, and scarves when the hair goes.
The picture above is from Virgin Gorda and it is what I picture when I’m stuck in an MRI or today when plastic mesh was applied tightly to my face for an alien mask for radiation.
In between all this madness I wil savor everyday and all of you and just keep living. It is the only way forward.
Thanks as ever for the amazingly endless love and support. It inspires me to stay brave and to endure