on the happy side Mason, Lane Wrote half of a cool song called The Wound and the Wonder inspired by Mason’s friend’s blog. Off to a great start and such a lovely way to spend time.
On the shit bag side there is new cancer on the other side of my cerebellum and new in my liver as well as the top of my cervical spine (neck). The good news is that listening to my body has meant we are capturing these when they are tiny. Now 8mm in the liver doesn’t sound tiny but Rugo said given the breadth of the liver it is tiny. So she describes it as “not an emergency” but important that we act soon to prevent growth. In order this will mean the brain MRI moves up to tomorrow 7:30pm and then we hopefully squeeze in 10 weekdays of “external beam radiation” on the cervical spine C2 and also start the cysplatin chemo (no hair loss….phew). Then add gemcytabine chemo after ski week. She spoke about the positive potential of a compassionate use of a kinase inhibitor which will take time but should help when we get it. Then I will have to return to the gamma knife….yeah the one where I said I wasn’t sure if I could ever emotionally handle the cage again. Serious Ativan will be required for that.
While I’ve liked the compliment that I’m smart therefore I have a wicked smart cancer, it is proving to be rather problematic as this tumor type so rapidly outsmarts each treatment and we worry it is resistant to hormone therapy. Rugo kept reiterating that the tumors are TINY but it is obviously imperative that they don’t grow further. And needless to say it just royally sucks that it is anywhere in the liver.
Ao truly onward and upward. People to see, places to go, a book to write, closets to edit, conservation to aid, and most importantly so very many crucial milestones to see my kids through. I know staying calm and positive are my best allies. I can accept the news but believe in the best possible outcome and overcome a few shitty days for the healing treatments.
I promise next blog will have pretty pictures but I wanted to get this news out. I will write again when I know timing of radiation and infusions, etc. Keep sending the love. I do feel it and it does lift me up.