New Drug, New Dog, New Era

As 2016 kicks off, I am 2 weeks into a trial drug (a parp inhibitor), we adopted a wonderful release dog from Canine Companions for Independence, and I am officially retired from Goldman Sachs. I celebrated 20 years by singing on Saturday night with Birdseed.

The drug’s key side effects are extreme fatigue and low platelet count. It is a once a day pill, and so potent that I’m required to take a break after only 2 weeks on as my platelet count plummeted 60%.  In speaking to a dear friend this sounds very common and is just another roller coaster that I have to get used to riding. It scares me to spend even a day off of meds, but hopefully the combination of the drug so far, the bone strengthening xgiva, and the ongoing benefit of radiation will average to a positive. And I hope to be back on the drug in a few days.  I am tired tired tired, and have become an expert napper.  I am indifferent to a chair, bed, couch, lounger, hammock, floor.  Shameless. I want to believe that it is hard work rebuilding bone and fighting a devil. 6 weeks of no exercise was starting to make me crazy, and Melissa came up with the brilliant idea of water workouts. I joined her at 9 mth pregnant for her class at the JCC in deep water and rediscovered my muscles.  If that wasn’t funny enough, the next class I joined the octogenarians and a ballerina.  I have no ego any more, and this will be a great tool for building strength and getting in shape again. Today I went by myself and happily filled 40 minutes.  So if you ever want a good laugh come and join me!

We love dogs. Our beloved Thea is 14 so we had toyed with the idea of another dog.  Somehow in a matter of weeks toying turned into adopting when my mom’s friend on the board of Canine Companions for Independence found us a fabulous lab mix that was due for release due to mild hip dysplasia.  Lest life become too easy, we added another being to our household! Penley is a 20mth old yellow lab mix who was part of the training program at Folsom Women’s Prison.  So this dog can handle anything! She’s super mellow and knows her place in the house.  Thea is still the queen, and we all get enormous amounts of love.  Good good medicine! CCI does remarkable work training service dogs for 1×1 care as well as in therapy facilities.  Creighton and I stood no chance of visiting and leaving empty handed.  We were immediately smitten, and Will has done a good job taking on some dog responsibilities.

imageWhile cancer already rudely interrupted a busy year at GS in May, it has now officially retired me after over 20 years at the firm.  End of an era.  Years of 3:45am wake ups, multi-tasking, juggling, beholden to the markets and clients. Stress, laughter, intellectual challenge, remarkably smart, interesting colleagues.  Years of learning from the best in the business, market crashes, market rebounds, tech and emerging market crises, layoffs, over hiring, but always about 3 ft of personal space. I loved the open desk environment.  I wouldn’t have known what to do with privacy.  I loved coming in and out of conversations, dialing my energy up and down as I picked up incoming calls, revved up for outgoing calls, cranking through emails at lightening speed.  My friends teased me for my a.d.d energy and my immediate email responses.  Subtle, hard to get…not traits we in client service carry.  I loved learning from my clients and all the brilliant GS analysts.  Market insights, political views, but also life experience and travels. Mentoring fabulous new talent allowed me to leave my mark on the firm, to learn about the next generation, and to cultivate wonderful younger friends.  I will write more about GS along the way, but for now suffice it to say that it is a privilege to work at such an efficient, capable, adaptable firm, and I am so grateful for the time I had.  Given all that I had added into my life in the last 5 years in the form of The Nature Conservancy, Exeter, the band (Birdseed), on top of parenting, when I lose GS I am left with a very rich and wonderful life. For now, I’m learning to wake up late with no guilt.  I still have a tendency to over schedule myself and make lists, but I’m realizing that it is intensely healing to rest as needed and to eliminate stress.  I was blessed with a world class boss, incredible clients, and a fabulous desk of people.  What better way to leave the business?

I held a newborn this week! My friend Melissa had Sullivan Kerry Bowers on Jan 8th.  Little is more magical than making eye contact with a new human and feeling that butters of skin and that instinctual grip.  He will be good medicine too! Isn’t it wonderful how your heart simply expands for new people, a new dog. You think you are full up, but no.  Never.

My new love, Sully

Bear with me as I get used to the blog.  I hope to add in quotes, recipes, and adventures as I get more adept.  I hope by the next time I post I will be back on the trial drug and walking a bit better.  Thank you as ever for the tireless support and love.  It is so empowering.  I have high hopes for 2016!









4 thoughts on “New Drug, New Dog, New Era

  1. I love the blog! The photos are great – they really enhance your write ups of your amazing travels. I love all of these photos, especially Melissa’s newborn. Thanks for the update! I send much love!


  2. I ❤ Kerry's blog! I see a new career unfolding. Can we carry the payments when you start making sales on here :). Lots and lots of love and good vibes coming your way.


  3. Kerry, I love your blog. And I like your thoughts about GS – I’m regularly amazed by how many close friends I made during that era, which was much briefer than your time there, so I can only imagine how many close relationships you must have after 20 years!


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s